Panic-buying Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Can Jonny come out to panic-buy with us?"

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"What we didn't have but obviously needed was an alarmist."

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

The End is Nigh

"I guess we'll know ol' Mr. Willis is dead when the Amazon packages stop arriving."

Down on Her.

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

"It's almost flu season! Stay indoors! Touch no one!"

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."

Panic Button

Flush Direct

A vacancy in the Finance Department

"For God's sake, man, just tell me what we're running from!"

'Quick! sell me a lure,any lure,I just found an empty compartment in my tackle box.'

'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'

"I know we don't have a garden, but I panicked!"

"Did you order 8000 tins of beans, 10,000 litres of water, 400 bottles of vitamins C tablets, 500 rolls of tin foil. . ."

Professor Yomp inserts ecology into his economic formula: "We're doomed!"

"Dad, I made a mistake. A big mistake."

The Big Economic Fix Is On: All the so-called safety nets will be as useless as a hard hat in a crowbar storm.

"What? The market didn't break a record today? Now where did I put my panic button?"

'Once you get the hang of it, crisis management is fairly straightforward.'

"Hello. . . Police? We've been burgled! The bastards have taken all of our soap, hand sanitiser and toilet rolls!"

'Use a basket? That's too much trouble.'

Wall Street Devil.

"This pandemic's made me stop, reflect and think about the important things in life - the things we forgot to panic buy and hoard!"

'Call me when you invent the warranty.'

Birth of a worrier

Incredibly Inexpensive Security Systems' advertise 'Pretty Good Set Ups. 1/2 the price, 2/3 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional break-ins.

'I don't like the looks of this.'

British Weather Bureau Symbols

"Ooh, I need this!"

"If you use up all your worry today what will you have tomorrow?"

"I have to agree with your husband - he knows a deal when he sees one."