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Solar Panel

Applause

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

3D Theatre

"Thanks Dave. I don't know about you folks, but I can feel it coming in the air tonight."

'Of course cutting back on this level of bureaucracy will require a lot of work...'

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

Good Morning Britain has just achieved something previously thought impossible...by making Piers Morgan the most likeable man on screen.

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

'I stopped watching Sesame Street the second I found out it was educational.'

Ostrich TV.

"There's no need to scream. The plane may be old but she was built for aerobatics."

Marvo the Bird Impersonator

'If we lose the malpractice lawsuit, we can always sell it to the Bloopers Channel.'

"This i why I always dress in bright colors."

'On the Highway of Life, Broderick Crawford is always pulling me over.'

"How about that! Wanda, you also landed on cheese."

Baby in carrier is watching TV on dad's back.

Books And Their Authors: "Hollywood's view of shoes..."

"Why are these reality show stars so famous? They're sneaky! They're conniving! They're evil!"