Pampering Enthusiast T-Shirts

"No, I don’t need a wake-up call, but can someone tuck me in?"

'Let me know if it works - I'll try some on the roses!'

Hog's Heaven Travel,,,Pampered Luxury,

"I still say you're spoiling that dog!"

Spa

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Pampered and poodled.

Dating is so expensive...

"Absolutely not!"

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

What price beauty?

"I don't like your application."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

The Cat Spa

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

New Twenty Blades

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"More concealer?"