Pampering Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"I suppose I pamper my husband, but he's been used to it since childhood."

Spa

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

The Cat Spa

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

This Year's Spa

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

"Hair spray"

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

'Botox.'

'Got anything with a little less musk?'

Happy National No Housework Day

"I still say you're spoiling that dog!"

In the shaving cut operating room of a hospital.

The Manicure.

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

Massage parlour offering therapeutic, Swedish, and ego massages.

'Medium well, please.'

"Come on, let me cut your fringe! You look ridiculous!"

"Looks like Mom is practicing getting her mask ready for Halloween tomorrow."

The Garra Rufa's idea of a Grand Day Out.

'YOU try shaving without a reflection sometime!'

After deliberating on the topic for weeks, I've decided to grow out my toenails. Why? My mane of hair is lustrous and thick. My musk is overpowering. My muscles, toned. Primal. Sinewy. My chest hair is coifed and glistening. But I can't rest on my laurels. The only way to maximize my animal magnetism at this point is to grow talons. I'm a victim of my success. And here I was worried about world peace.

Time to trim the eyebrows!

"Well sir. . . you could have a crew cut, flat top, a stiff quiff, a hi-top fade. . . "

The wool club for mammoths.

"Actually, Occam, the simplest explanation is that you need an electric razor."