Palmistry Ponderer T-Shirts

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

"You have a long life line... and where DO you get your nails done?"

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

Waiting for Pants

'At least I don't have his life.'

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

Guy on island sees giant ship in bottle.

'Jerry, The Hermans take the same pharmaceuticals we do!'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'Do you ever worry about our global footprint?'

Tracey Emin's Bed

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

Palm Reading

Various Birds of Pray.

'That line means good managerial skills!'

'Let me know if these weight-loss pills actually work.'

"Hey, way to go! You invented both the disease AND the cure!"

'Ignore that, my pen leaked...'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"Yes I can read palms and if you don't remove yours from my thigh, you'll be reading my palm with your face!"

'Are you a hypochondriac who has everything but your regular placebo isn't doing the job? Talk to your doctor about the new extra-strength placebo.'

"We need a product that works like aspirin, but is a lot more expensive to buy."

'Another one. Do you realize that will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

'No, we wouldn't want to ask God's blessing on something evil, but carrots aren't evil.'

'Will this make me feel as happy as the people in the commercial?'

'Will I run for President, you ask? H-m-m-m...let's see what the ol' 'Palm' reading predicts!'

Have you been undressing me with your eyes? It's okay, I'm a doctor

This is a test of their cognitive skills, and that's a test of their patience. Waiting room.

'Any side effects of these sleeping pills?'