Paleozoic Ponderer T-Shirts

"Billions of years ago, earth had only one huge supercontinent..."

Romance gets off to a rough start in the Paleozoic era.

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

65 Million Years Ago

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Admit it, we're lost."

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

Neptune

Another Theory as to Why Dinosaurs became Extinct.

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

The Evolution Of Man.

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

"Great, just great! And while you're in here, potchkeeing around with paint, Seymour Rabinowitz in the cave next door is inventing fire already!"

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

A caveman rubs two sticks together and gets a computer.

So, that's bipedalism? It doesn't look very ergonomic.

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

Unfortunately, napkins hadn't been invented yet, so good ideas were quickly forgotten.

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

'The dawn of woman' - Ape-women dance around giant bar of chocolate.

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"Your wheel idea was a huge hit, so what have you got for me this time?"

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

Fish crawls from the primordial soup.

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'It was fun to make bujt don't see any possible use for it in the future.'