Paleozoic Ponderer T-Shirts

"Billions of years ago, earth had only one huge supercontinent..."

Romance gets off to a rough start in the Paleozoic era.

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

Neptune

"Admit it, we're lost."

65 Million Years Ago

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

Another Theory as to Why Dinosaurs became Extinct.

The Evolution Of Man.

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

"Great, just great! And while you're in here, potchkeeing around with paint, Seymour Rabinowitz in the cave next door is inventing fire already!"

A caveman rubs two sticks together and gets a computer.

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

Unfortunately, napkins hadn't been invented yet, so good ideas were quickly forgotten.

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

"Your wheel idea was a huge hit, so what have you got for me this time?"

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'Much to his disappointment, Thag's coffee percolator was an invention ahead of its time.

'It was fun to make bujt don't see any possible use for it in the future.'

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'