Pal Pillows

'Did you know Geoffrey was once a tennis umpire?'

"O.K., Let's try this scenario..."

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

"Some day, we should bait our hooks."

"It's a podcast about me and my buddy discussing movies, but the catch is we also sorta joke around."

"I don’t know, Phil … my gut tells me she’ll drive you nuts."

'Bait no more! You really know how to take advantage of a friendship, don't you!'

"Hey Cruz, check out my super-powered speaker system!"

"Okay, which one of you guys filled my bowling ball with helium?"

Friends Yeah!

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

"You know, you're a great pal! You're a little cold at first, but a guy can really warm up to you!"

"Now don't be talking about yourself while you're here."

"I used to be apathetic, but then I thought - what the hell...?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"I wish we were just called T-Rex..."

'After hours of rehearsing together, little Judy Barlow is going to play 'Three Blind Mice' while her father screams, 'Keep that racket down, will ya?''

Intellectual Property

"You had me at alternative milk."

Doctors

'Of course, I'm proud of you but I don't think he would be a healthy after school snack.'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

'Bront?saurus.'

"This is my man cave."

'After years of studying the apes I've finally found a way of being accepted into their group.'

"I guess we'll know ol' Mr. Willis is dead when the Amazon packages stop arriving."

'You're eating too much roughage.'

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

How the bones got into the Le Brea Tar Pits

'Don't look now, but here comes some natural selection.'

T-Rex Baseball

'This would be a lot more fun if you didn't throw like a girl.'