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"You also get a choice of finishes ? flat, semigloss or satan."

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"Too much concealer?"

Face painting by numbers.

"Perhaps in my next life I'll be a jpeg."

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

"I don't know what happened, your holiness! I painted the ENTIRE CEILING!"

"It took a lot of work to build this car..."

'Quick, press control Z!'

Executive puts on brave face for board meeting.

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

Abstract expressionist face painting.

Hazards of mouse painting

Exhibition of Paint Colors.

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

"My method of painting is pointillism."

Relay runners passing pictures to each other.

"I've fallen in love with red paint."

A Christmas tree self portrait

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

'Is my make-up O.K.?'

Artist Retrospective.

'Makeup? This is a tattoo.'

Alberto Giacometti.

Eugene Delacroix

Two New Paintbrushes

Sleeping on the Job

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

'...and you can wash that pea-green crap off - I want Magnolia.'