Paint Expert T-Shirts

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

Yoga Xmas Decorations

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

'Quick, press control Z!'

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

Hazards of mouse painting

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

"My method of painting is pointillism."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Artist Retrospective.

Alberto Giacometti.

I'm color blind, please help.

Sleeping on the Job

'So, Vincent, who is your target market?'

"It was you, Jason. Dr. Karnes had it authenticated."

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

'...and you can wash that pea-green crap off - I want Magnolia.'

Jackson Pollock's early paint-by-numbers period.

"Harold finds painting very therapeutic."

'You never smile at me like that!'

Queuing for a Turner, Whistle, Monet exhibition in the rain - 'Atmospheric, isn't it?'

Artist paints an artist.

Woman shops while man sets up noose. "Do I go with bright white, deep white...."

D.I.Y ladder

Gallery Guide

'I don't see how this roller thing helps. . .'

Artist in Residence