Pager Aficionado T-Shirts

"It's a retro ring."

Bite out of fishing pier.

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

Vlad the Inhaler

"Was that my pager or yours?"

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

Twister:Rural Social Networking

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

Roads with a view.

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

Movie Monster Exhibit: Unavailable due to much needed repair work.

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"I will answer anything but questions."

Office Supplies: New and improved motivational posters, now with 25% more inspiration.

Lady vampire putting lipstick on in a mirror with no reflection

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

"That news you're reading is 24 hours old. I can get it 23 hours and 57 minutes sooner online."

Vampire Bat

F1 - Quit Smoking.

'If this drilling goes on they are going to find my stash of Martian Dollars I buried as a hedge against inflation.'

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."