Page-turner Seeker Gifts

"Have you got a thrilling, magnificent saga that can also teach me how to make a bundle in real estate with no money down?"

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

Math Camp. I should have read the brochure more carefully before I signed up -- It says "Go on an add-venture and have sum fun"!

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

Reading

"What would you recommend to hold a seven-year-old girl's attention in a car from East Seventy-eighth Street to Bridgehampton?"

"We thought about a restaurant and decided we were more of a bookstore."

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

Bibliomaniac

'If you're using this for research into your next book then you can sleep in the spare room!'

Small child checks out a book.

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

Roald Dahl's books updated for modern sensitivities.

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

'Dealing with Stress, Cooking for Forty and Nightmare Families. Christmas reading?'

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

'What if we just cut back on our genres this year?'

'Meet the Author'/'Meet the Plagiarist' - An Author and a Plagiarist selling and signing the same book story and title.

"I'll recommend your book if you recommend mine."

'When I said we should read together I meant separate books.'

'Tell the doctor I'll be with him in another page and a half.'

Prehistoric Pop-Up Books Club

'I have high hopes of Wisden knocking the Da Vinci code off the top of the best sellers list.'

"Thank you! And now for my finale, I shall produce a magician from the hat."

'TV on the blink?'

Publishing Co. Book Editor. How does a "do-it-yourself" book end up with six co-authors?

Books: Meet the Guy Who Sells the Books

Who needs the classics...boy reading his ebook.

Ladies, welcome to Palais des Beefcakes. A super sexy all-male revue. Our first performer is a legend – the hunkiest he-man in the Americas. So give it up for … oh my … It can't be … Senor Stud! Pop!

Writer's block

"For a second there I thought I heard a page turn, as if someone was actually reading a book. Must be repressed memories from the old days."

"I sort of imagined with a live reading, he'd be reading out loud."

"Really, there was no need to regurgitate the whole thing."