Page-turner Seeker Gifts

"Have you got a thrilling, magnificent saga that can also teach me how to make a bundle in real estate with no money down?"

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

Reading

"What would you recommend to hold a seven-year-old girl's attention in a car from East Seventy-eighth Street to Bridgehampton?"

"We thought about a restaurant and decided we were more of a bookstore."

'If you're using this for research into your next book then you can sleep in the spare room!'

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

Small child checks out a book.

Bibliomaniac

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

Roald Dahl's books updated for modern sensitivities.

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

'Dealing with Stress, Cooking for Forty and Nightmare Families. Christmas reading?'

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

'What if we just cut back on our genres this year?'

'When I said we should read together I meant separate books.'

'Meet the Author'/'Meet the Plagiarist' - An Author and a Plagiarist selling and signing the same book story and title.

"I'll recommend your book if you recommend mine."

'Tell the doctor I'll be with him in another page and a half.'

'I have high hopes of Wisden knocking the Da Vinci code off the top of the best sellers list.'

'TV on the blink?'

"Thank you! And now for my finale, I shall produce a magician from the hat."

Books: Meet the Guy Who Sells the Books

Who needs the classics...boy reading his ebook.

"For a second there I thought I heard a page turn, as if someone was actually reading a book. Must be repressed memories from the old days."

Writer's block

"I sort of imagined with a live reading, he'd be reading out loud."

Best Sellers/New Release/Books You Still Haven't Finished Yet Claire