Page-turner Protagonist Gifts

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

Reading

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"We thought about a restaurant and decided we were more of a bookstore."

'If you're using this for research into your next book then you can sleep in the spare room!'

Small child checks out a book.

The Last Non E-Book In The World.

Bibliomaniac

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

Roald Dahl's books updated for modern sensitivities.

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

'What if we just cut back on our genres this year?'

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

'When I said we should read together I meant separate books.'

"I'll recommend your book if you recommend mine."

'Tell the doctor I'll be with him in another page and a half.'

Man completely bandaged leaves an eye uncovered so he can read.

Man hospitalized and in a full body cast is reading bedtime stories.

'I have high hopes of Wisden knocking the Da Vinci code off the top of the best sellers list.'

'TV on the blink?'

"Be careful with your third wish. Another book you might already have read would be a bummer."

"I sort of imagined with a live reading, he'd be reading out loud."

Writer's block

"For a second there I thought I heard a page turn, as if someone was actually reading a book. Must be repressed memories from the old days."

Books: Meet the Guy Who Sells the Books

Best Sellers/New Release/Books You Still Haven't Finished Yet Claire

'Couldn't finish it. I got reader's block.'

"Can we just wait until they make the film?"

"Have you got a thrilling, magnificent saga that can also teach me how to make a bundle in real estate with no money down?"

"I don't care, I'm on the last page."

Pulp fiction on bookshelf dripping into bucket.