Pagan Traditions Explorer Gifts

'To think it was me who suggested you took up an interest like basket-weaving...'

Human Cull: People who think you have to be a devout Christian to appreciate Christmas.

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

The World's Biggest Book Club

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

'- and what makes you think they must have been TALL?'

Religion & Economics.

'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'

"My dad was really good at showing me how to throw poo. He was just never any good at explaining exactly why I should be throwing it."

"Just my luck."

Naturists feelings of joy evaporate when a slug climbs up his arse

"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"

'If it's all the same to you, we'd prefer not to get involved.'

Vicar losing his place in the sermon.

Hunter. Gatherer. Pottier.

Don't get too close to Brother Jerome - he just baptized a Hun.

I'm not sure asceticism is a relative concept Brother Michael

"I'm calling it 'Genesis.' It's part of a five-book contract."

Santa's elevator

"He's my relative from Hawaii."

Progressions.

Your dinner is in the coven.

At the witches supermarket.

'Is there a backup plan?'

Philipp Melanchthon (Lutherism)

For Witches of a Certain Age

Heaven- A Gated Community

'All these heads are kind of gross aren't they? What if we collected pottery or something?'

'I understand about Adam and Eve and the Serpent, but who's this 'Forbidden Fruit' guy?'

"Is it true that my client was forced to say twenty Hail Marys after you coerced a false confession from him?"

"No, I won't go out with you...I don't know you from Adam!"