Paddock Ponderer T-Shirts

"Can I help it if my shoes don't last?"

Wildlife

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

Optimist

"It's a beautiful world out there, just waiting to be discovered. Well, discovered by one of you, the rest will almost certainly die."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Beginning Yarder.

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

Business Duck

"This blood knot ought to be re-named the blood, sweat and tears knot."

"I can't wait to start growing limbs so that I can use a tablet..."

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'I'll say this for you young Thoreu - he certainly does make good use of his pond.'

'Its that final touch that makes it seem just like a natural pond.'

Desert island dweller sinks in sand.

Ricochet