Paddock Ponderer T-Shirts

"Can I help it if my shoes don't last?"

Wildlife

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"It's a beautiful world out there, just waiting to be discovered. Well, discovered by one of you, the rest will almost certainly die."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

Beginning Yarder.

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

Business Duck

"This blood knot ought to be re-named the blood, sweat and tears knot."

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"I can't wait to start growing limbs so that I can use a tablet..."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'I'll say this for you young Thoreu - he certainly does make good use of his pond.'

Six frogs leap off their lily pads.

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'