Package Opener Extraordinaire Pillows

"We buy so many things online, they built a conveyor belt straight from their factory to here."

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

Fragile stamper.

"Quick swig first?"

Bug Spray/Sun Screen

"You constantly saying 'I'll see you Monday' won't change the fact that you're fired."

'Special Delivery!'

'Next day to the coast! You must be nuts!'

'I guess I never should have quit the rodeo'

'I wonder if we strike wine again!'

U. S. POST OFFICE, ''Fragile'? Yeah, yeah, pal -- they're all fragile.'

'You've been on eBay again haven't you?'

'You want to insure it? --Just exactly what are you implying, buster?'

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

'Relax, I'm only going to open a window.'

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

"Have I (hic) godda deal for you."

Discreet Shipping

A dog unable to open a can of dog food, holding a user's manual.

Delivered Pretty Much To Your Door!

A man doing a reality check.

This Side Up.

"Snowman 1 to snowman 3... UPS delivery complete... FedEx approaching fast... Amazon not in sight... Over!"

"Yes, I do all my shopping online. How did you know?"

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"

'It did say on the parcel, 'please do not bend'!'

"It says, 'To deter Porch Pirates, we've thrown your package on your roof'."

"Online shopping saves me time, so I can work more to earn more to have the money to buy more stuff online..."

"Tell the delivery guy he was off about 100 feet again."

Amazon Obstacle Course: Online Shopping Gamifies Your Building Entrance.

"How do we know the label isn't on upside down?"

'I've joined the 'Cheque-book-of-the-Month Club!'

"As a matter of fact - We do offer free shipping."

"The Finance Minister said it was okay."

'Don't bother with dinner, dear. I just gobbled up two corporations and ate my secretary alive.'