Pack Dynamic Enthusiast Gifts

'For pity's sake, Albert, can't I step out for 5 minutes without Sparky deposing you as alpha male?!'

Welcome to the Team

Dogs

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"When you said that your boyfriend had a six-pack..."

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

"Encouraging dissent is a good way of finding out who the traitors are."

'Just wait till it's my turn to make long-term care decisions for you!'

'The poll results are clear Sir: Your days as the Alpha Male are numbered...'

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

'Special Delivery!'

'That's the last time I trust you to train the dog!'

'The only thing we have in common anymore is the kids are driving us both nuts!'

'Every time we have an argument you've gotta drag the boss into it!'

"Sorry, dude. You've been voted out of the pack!"

Bartlett's Expanded Quotations

"Go ask your mother."

'Ask your other father.'

Sex Equality

'You click on it and it sends you to 'Ask Your Father do com'.'

No matter how many times I put them back in their own beds, they end up in mine.

"Frankly, the idea of "Mating for Life" is quite daunting to somebody like me who has a fear of commitment..."

'I don't have the nose for hunting, but I love to run with the pack.'

"Holiday time around our house is a nightmare."

'It's perfect!'

"You've had to be kind to survive, and I've had to be nasty."

"Mother sends Season's Greetings with her love to you, Lydia. She says how she does so wish to spend the holidays with us but she knows that would mean we would have to drive five hundred and fifty miles to her house, as it is impossible for her to accept

'I'll see the ones with clean underwear first.'

'Do you want the Head of the house or Dad?'

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"