Oyster Philosopher Pillows

"Beds are not made for jumping on."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

reincarnated worm...

Pigeon Little

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Goldfish bowl on raft...

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

Reverse psychology

Chicken soup for the sole.

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

Two Men Angler's In A Storm.

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

Jeffrey's Time Machine: '...I want to go back and see what the world was like when people weren't so stupid and annoying!'

Cool Cat, Dog Dork, Grumpy Goldfish, Constipated Cockatiel.

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"So I leave eggs on the ground, and then you come along and drop your whatever on them? That's your idea of romance?"

They were a prehistoric tribe that worshipped a fish deity. Ich-theology.

"My husband is fishing. . ."

"Cat got your tongue?"

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'