Overprotective Mum Gifts

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

No Immediate Danger

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

First Steps

Mom, I think you're carrying us too much.

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

License, registration, and some I.D. for the small child watching what appears to be a completely inappropriate PG-13 movie in the back.

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

'Which end's the shallow end?'

"Daddy, you're not going to give us a sermon on responsible behavior, are you?"

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

"Lawsuits must really be getting out of hand."

"Let's talk about your overprotective mother."

"I still think we should go higher than Factor 0.5."

"I'm sorry your son Billy ran away, but there's not much we can do being that he's thirty-four."

My mom won't let me walk to school. I might get mugged. She won't let me play sports. I might get injured. West Fester High School. And she won't let me get onto the scales. Why not? It might hurt my self-esteem.

Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...

'Dad - couldn't you miss just a little of my growing up?'

"Of course I trust your judgement dear. But, it can't hurt to do a quick police check on your new boyfriend."

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

"Gracie, is this a love note? Who's Tyler?"

"I asked my Mom to drive me to school because the bus doesn't have airbags"

'Oh, Daddy's old gun?... I think he's planning on showing it to you. He always said, it was there in case I ever brought a boyfriend home.'

"I realize some of your friends have them, but you cannot have a webcam in your room."

one final word. bring my daughter home at 11pm sharp or. . .

'Darn it Mother! I'm not MISSING! I'm just working DOUBLES this month!'

"Jimmy has helicoptor parents."

'Do you think he's starting to out grow the pram?'

"Do your dad and tia know you broke up with Smiley?"