Overindulgent Epicure T-Shirts

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

The wonderful world of cheese.

To do before Saturday...

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"And what would you like to regret later?"

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'Please take this away from me.'

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

'...and that concludes this seminar on healthy living. Now, if anyone cares to join me, I'm off to that new place down the street for some steak and a few beers.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

'Did anyone save a stomach for dessert?'

"I ain't particular, but are you sure a '71 claret is the right choice for these here beans?"

The four basic food groups: Dry, Moist, Biscuit, Bone.

'Yes, that's all - isn't 1500 calories enough?'

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

"Well, I don't care if it is some kind of fancy-schmancy restaurant...if I want ketchup, I'm gonna get ketchup!"

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

'My doctor said I'm digging my own grave with a spoon and fork. It'll take longer if I use only a fork.'

'I'll leave it entirely to you...as long as it's a red...for exactly $20...from Napa...made from Merlot...2006 vintage...'

"Wow - good job!"

"When the President said each of us should ask 'What can I do for myself?' - Well, I just hopped in a cab and went right over to Saks."

"Not just a wheel, Trog, but a wheel of aged Parmigiano Reggiano!"

"Best served at street temperature, delicious served with dustbin chipsor gutter squashed, half eaten kebab..."

Treat at the Colinderies.

Things you'll never hear me say.

'Things are beginning to pick up...But there won't be a rerun of the excesses of the past...'

Gluttony, Inc.

"Excuse me for a moment. I have to go and refinance this dinner bill."

"How's about this beauty? 28 days, 67,000 calories."

All you can eat buffet - Customer waving a white flag.