Overeating Overcomer Pillows

Lots of people are lousy at counting calories... and they have the figures to prove it!

Overjumpers

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Will you be wanting this?'

'They're a very successful family.'

"Hoora! I made it through another day!"

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

'No ulcers shows me you haven't reached your full potential.'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

"And what would you like to regret later?"

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Ladder of success"...Perhaps, you'd like our economy model."

Holiday Overkill.

Still a Disappointment to his Mother

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

"You promised to stop bringing your work home."

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

'Sorry I'm late, Fred. I forgot to plug in the car.'

"I lost everything-the business, the house, the landscape."

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

"Your internship is finally over. You're now required to work longer hours with no extra pay."

'Ten 'A's? Frankly son, I'm disappointed that you're not more of a disappointment to me.'

Salmon swimming up-stream, "Don't you get tired of overcoming obstacles"

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'