Overeating Survivor Pillows

'The thin person inside you seems to have developed a serious case of claustrophobia.'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'You brought my slippers?... What kind of rescue dog are you?!'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'She finally made employee of the month but she paid the ultimate price.'

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

Twisted Peel works overtime.

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Tourist in the desert

"We're a bit understaffed today, could you be 6 people?"

"And what would you like to regret later?"

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

"There are 168 hours in as week and I work 184."

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'Word has it that you have an ulcer, Tomkins. Nice going! You'll find an extra 20 bucks in your paycheck.'

Drawing on an island.

Hour Glass

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

'What do you mean you lost the keys?'

Holiday Overkill.

'That's great, Bob, but I was just going to ask if you wanted anything from the deli next door.'

'I worked my butt off again.'

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

"I'm afraid there's just so far you can go with street smarts."

"...and at work, Doctor, I feel all the paperwork I have to do is taking the joy out of my chosen profession!"

"It must be his beeper."

'I don't know when I've seen it so humid.'

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'

Desert - Steep Hill sign.

"You no longer have any excuses for not getting your work done. I hired someone to take your lunch and bathroom breaks for you."

Suicide by overeating.