Over-the-top Decorator Pillows

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'

"There really is such a thing as having too many pillows."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Painting the Ceiling

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Filet minion

"Too bright."

Shelter Cat Nap

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"I'm starting to think stripes."

The Hammer

"Can that be right?"

Pinata Trophies

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Yard Sale

Face Painting.

'The roof needs icing.'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

'Home is where I hang my bat.'