Over-the-hill Humor Pillows

'Dave's really over-reacting about turning forty.'

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"How was the play!"

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'

101 uses of a dead cat: rollerskates

'Not only am I a frequent flyer, I'm a frequent waiter.'

'The reason I'm paid fifty times more is because I think I'm worth it.'

Gender Reveal

"I was quite pleased to find a job which allows me to see more of my husband."

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

"I told you there's no 11th flooooor!"

Frisbee Flies By Mountain Climbers

There's no way you could have attained Nirvana already — you don't even have hemorrhoids yet.

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

'That mantra you gave me is politically incorrect!'

"For heaven’s sake, I said ‘fetch.’ Not ‘fly’!"

Airport. Taxi. Everybody I drive to the airport seems to lose their fear of flying.

"This guy's been acting kinda funny."

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

Bra falling from the sky.

Amongst the Culturati II.

mountain climer finding a guru wearing a covid mask and a sign that says 6 feet please.

'You want to get me the owner's manual out of the glove compartment?'

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"

"No Chateau Lafite '62? Guess I'll have a brewskie."

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'

'Of course I'm at work with a fever of 104. I'm not going to waste a sick day off when I'm actually sick!'

'Gesundheit!'

"We are now jamming passengers into rows 24 through 36."

"That's Mount Keister. Be Careful though, it could go off at any time!"

"I contributed a lot to charity when I thought I was going to die."

Golf Guru

'I'll pass on the liqueurs ,you never know who's watching out there...'

'I'm no expert, but I'd say it has something to do with the recoil action.'

'I can't see a damn thing -- can you tell me what I've got?'