Over-30 Club Member T-Shirts

"Well -- You're over 30 so you probably just slept on it wrong."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"You'll learn a lot at our book club...like how to read between the wines."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

Men drinking

'What a huge disappointment. I thought French Club was about kissing!'

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

I'm warning you. My nosy parents are chaperoning. It'll be fine. Eco Club Dance. All they want to do is spy on me. You're safe. You think? Is that Twig? I forgot my night-vision goggles.

'Boy Scouts aren't ANY kind of terrorists!'

Bud's Club...Where Buds, Bubs and Bros gather!

"Sorry - you're just not my type...!"

"Howard, you've met my ukulele ladies before."

"...And when you turn eighteen, you go over to the dark side, like Mom and Dad."

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

A FAREWELL TO ARMS ERNEST HEMINGWAY

"Sorry guys, these are restricted premises: Show me your teeth so that I can check your age..."

'Good news dear you have finally been accepted as a member of 'The explorer's club!'

'Be wormier!'

"I've always admired you. I find your complete lack of compassion refreshing."

"You only started bringing me home from the Darby and Joan club because I had a stair life and you couldn't manage stairs any more."

Aging Boomers live longer.

Over 60's night - "You have beautiful teeth. What do you soak them in?"

Ned Thompson, unpretentious wine taster.

Middle-Of-Life Choices

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

Botanical Gardens - Our Weeding Group Meets Mondays 3pm.

'The first wives club'

My latest invention is genius. It's an affinity card for our best customers. That's not a new idea. Airlines, rental car agencies, hotels … They all have loyalty programs where you can earn discounts and special treatment. Spare me. Ours has a way better name: The Cafe Exclusive VIP Premier Executive Best Customer Reward Program. And we don't trouble customers with confusing discounts and benefits. All hail the VIP premier cheapskate.

This club is for members only