Outfit Observer Pillows

"No, I'm not wearing a black sweater. My black cat sheds a lot."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

Beaver tower

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

"That shirt is so last year."

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

"Some day, we should bait our hooks."

Squirrel Tapping On Window Demanding Food.

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"It's a turkey vulture, and it's got something big. Honey, where's Delia?"

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

"Look at that ant farm! I love the ants' little overalls!

Astronaut Selfie.

'What day is trash pickup around here?'

'As you know, this is a Right-To-Work-Cheap-OR-we-send-your-job-to-Asia-state...'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

No, I don't think they throw those up here for us.

Cut out and keep your own Wardrobe Assistant.

Go Back to New York

Cat and Squirrel on Screen Door.

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

Fashionista

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

Impractical Gardener.

Space junk.

'How can you be so cheap?'

"I don't know...it's just not you."

Oculist.

"Oh, man. Ha ha! The look on your face when that squirrel turned around and started chasing you!"

'Why John, I remember you when you were this high.'