Outdoor-to-indoor Decorator Mugs

Man gathers leaves to put on his high-rise patio.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Painting by the numbers for adults

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Painting the Ceiling

Use your imagination.

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"You're welcome."

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"Too bright."

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

Unfinished Funiture Store.

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'