Outdoor Slacker Gifts

Throwing snails into next door's garden

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"I'm learning to appreciate the simple things in life."

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

Boss With Whistle.

"It took years of hard work to get my colleagues to expect nothing from me."

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

Sundayafternoon Carpenters

'He likes to rest before he gets tired.'

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

You're not a team player, Peters - and I think we can all agree that's a good thing. Beer.

Man in office watching TV instead of a computer monitor.

"Wow! Nice job on that display, Baldo! Just don't tell the boss. He'll make you do more."

'Some guys wait awhile before showing their true colors. I appreciate you not wasting any time.'

'I'm running late again this morning...' - '...in the vain hope that somebody will fire me.' - 'Gah. My life is ridiculous.'

"How did people waste time before computers?"

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

He had an accident at work-an idea struck him.

'You know sooner or later they'll notice you've replaced your monitor with a portable TV.'

"You know I'd help if it weren't for my bum knee."

'I don't feel like getting out of bed today - Just tell everybody to go with laissez-faire.'

"I wouldn't say he was a creature of habit - more of a creature with bad habits."

"What is the first item on the to do list?"

While you were in

"I act unreliable so people won't ask me to do anything."

'How's your garden?' - 'It's getting too much for me so I'm paving it.'

Pro Procrastination

"Joey...I need you spending more time helping customers."

"We're not year-round people, weekend people, or summer people. We're last-ten-days-in-August people."

"Was he the one that replied to your advert for casual staff?"

A woman lounges topless on a sofa

"Just go home already Walter. I know you don't have kids to pick up."

'He hasn't been himself lately,notice the improvement?'