Outdoor Event Organizer Mugs

'We only have a five minute window, everything has to be time to the last second.'

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

Face painting.

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Face painting by numbers.

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

Beginning Yarder.

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

Shakespeare in the Park: "To pee, or not to pee..."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

'Last chance to break my leg! I mean, ski this run!'

Extra Long-jump

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

What if they held a chili cookoff, & nobody came!

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

Prosecco

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

Campground Conductor

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

Apparently summer's going to start next month.

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

Face Painting.

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.