Oscars Viewing Party Pillows

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

Jungle Games

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

May I have the envelope, please?

"Dear diary...Well at least I'm not having to watch the Oscars."

'...well you say you're Stephen Hawking but as Eddie Redmayne said he was going to turn up in character we're not too sure."

Barbie Oscars

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

Oscars 2024

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

"Did you know that the average mainstream news portal devotes more space to the oscar in a day than to climate change coverage in the entire year?"

The Academy began to regret awarding the Oscar to Destructo.

Ellen Page

Djargo.

Actors getting married. 'Best supporting man'

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

Oscars

"This should be interesting. . . they're giving an acting award for best political lie. . ."

Man reads from card at awards ceremony: 'And the award for Best Actress goes to ...'

"Technically, it's not a crime, but it still feels wrong."

Will Smith's Oscar

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

"And the award for the best interruption of an oscar speech goes to...The woodwinds."

Base chapel.