Oscars Aficionado Gifts

"Oh, hello, there. Is this Mary Feeney? Hello, there. This is Marty Piletti. I wonder if you recall me. Well, I'm kind of a stocky guy. The last time we met was in the RKO Chester. You was with a friend of yours, and I was with a friend of mine name of Angie." Actually, none of this is true, of course. It's dialogue from the 1955 movie "Marty," starring Ernest Borgnine. In the film, Marty failed to get a date, but Borgnine went on to win an Oscar. I'm hoping to one or both of those things to hap

'I hope the 'King's Speech' doesn't win, it'll take Colin Firth an hour just to say 'Thank you'.'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

Showbiz Awards

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Bloody hell!"

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Kritik's Korner

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Canadian film production

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

Moby Dick

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

Movies vs. Films

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

Film Star Robert de Niro

"They tell me you're a man who has True Magritte."

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

Hollywood Breakup

Jim Carrey,

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

"Although the depiction of gangland activity in this film is not accurate over all, I would like to go on record as saying that I am not entirely displeased with Mr. Robert De Niro's portrayal of a gentleman whom I take to have been a former associate of yours truly."

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.