Origin Of Life Enthusiast Pillows

"Maybe Earth's primordial soup did contain polyester."

Reach for the Star.

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

Miniature Design Shop: Think Small.

"I've been reading a book of famous quotations. It's amazing how many are by a famous Greek named Anonymous."

'The kids want a new motto: instead of 'slow but sure' they've come up with 'fast and funky'.'

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

"I have a feeling this is gonna be one tough course."

'Quotes, woof, woof, woof, woof, closed quotes.'

'Lance, what does 'NSFW' stand for?'

Frog Prince thinks: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horsefly.'

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

"Gosh, this reminds me of one of my favorite John Lennon lyrics: "Life is what happens to you while you're making other quarterly sales plans."

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

Ovalifolium Longifora

"Wait ... I always thought taking each other for granted was a good thing!"

'That's it agreed then - the company's new motto is going to be 'We didn't do anything illegal'.'

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

"She introduces herself as Drosophila Melanogaster, but everyone knows she's just a common fruit fly."

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

"Well, it's funny, Sid. Every time I've got onr foot in the grave, something interesting happens, so I pull it back out again!"

Could you be a little bit more specific than an 'arm and a leg'?

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

'Phys Ed -- but I minored in philosophy.'

"By now, you've probably noticed that around here, money talks and you-know-what walks!"

Life is about the chase, not the ball. Now go get it!

Witty T-Shirt Guy

It's good news when an agent says "This is a big break" to an aspiring actor. But not good when said by an orthopedic surgeon holding your x-ray! It's jarring when your business partner says "We're going under while he's looking at the books. But it's very routine when said by a submarine captain speaking to the crew. "You're on fire" is nice to hear when you're playing an excellent round of golf. But not what you want to hear when you're grilling burgers. "A thumb on the scale" often mean

'Not so much a 'brain-storm'... more like a 'brain-drizzle'.'

"Have you noticed, after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF?"