Latin Name Enthusiast Pillows

"You have a condition whose name is very hard to remember."

Buxifolius Filiformis

Ovalifolium Longifora

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

"Yes, you were born into the era of passwords and user-names. . . why do you ask, Mycat_2014?"

"What a coincidence, that's my name, too!"

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

'Lance, what does 'NSFW' stand for?'

Tom Cruise

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

"Maybe Earth's primordial soup did contain polyester."

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

"Wait ... I always thought taking each other for granted was a good thing!"

'I know you can make this project go. That's why I call you 'The Magic Motor'.'

Male On Sunday

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

"She introduces herself as Drosophila Melanogaster, but everyone knows she's just a common fruit fly."

Backdoor

Could you be a little bit more specific than an 'arm and a leg'?

It's good news when an agent says "This is a big break" to an aspiring actor. But not good when said by an orthopedic surgeon holding your x-ray! It's jarring when your business partner says "We're going under while he's looking at the books. But it's very routine when said by a submarine captain speaking to the crew. "You're on fire" is nice to hear when you're playing an excellent round of golf. But not what you want to hear when you're grilling burgers. "A thumb on the scale" often mean

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'

"One of you will be Kevin, one will be Kev and one will be K. You decide who."

A word to the wise. At this morning's meeting you were referred to as the 'the bottleneck'.

'Theodore seemed much more approachable when he began going by his childhood name.'