Average Life Enthusiast Pillows

Average Joe meets working stiff.

Reach for the Star.

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

My philosophy ... If you can't beat 'em, outlive 'em.

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

"Maybe Earth's primordial soup did contain polyester."

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

"That's Ms Pitt. She's been entrenched on high alert at the front desk for 42 years."

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

"Well, it's funny, Sid. Every time I've got onr foot in the grave, something interesting happens, so I pull it back out again!"

Did You Know That...Scientists in Illinois, USA, claim we would live a longer life if we were more like elves?

"Our Trash Dash order is on its way."

Garden of Earthly Delights

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

The News in Capsule Form.