Organizing Consultant Gifts

"You no longer spark joy, Charly."

Ok, the first challenge is to throw out all the cheap crap in the swag bag we just gave you.

"Where is Marie Kondo when you need her?"

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

Where your mind & battle are los

Let's get organized

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Here and There Trays

Inclusive speech

"I didn't spark joy."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

Gay Times...

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"I'm busy this afternoon, but I can crayon you in for Saturday."

Good Luck!

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

Maybe clean out your wallet

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

"By labeling it, I control it."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

Ironing day.