Organizational Consultant Gifts

Organisational Structure

'We reorganized so many times we are now one of our own subsidiaries.'

"I'm in my third day of trying to figure out which little square I am."

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

Illogic Tree

Silo sweet silo

'Who's that pathetic little one down there?'

'I'm afraid we had to cancel the 'perfect planning' seminar, but the time we got around to booking the hotel was full and the speaker hoped to use died in 1967...'

'I'm cutting out a complete layer of management.'

Pandora's Junk Drawer

"That's UGnuk, he's been here from the start."

Vases, hearts & organizations

Zoo Inc. Management Structure

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

'You don't think 10 Mission Statements is a little bit excessive?'

"A truly revolutionary breakthrough:a microscope shot of our organisation!"

'I've organised the bathroom.'

'So, Jim, they tell me you're good at compartmentalizing!'

Man watering labels for a chart.

Oog has invented the organization chart.

Acme Poultry Personnel. We don't really have an organization chart. It's more of a pecking order.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."