Organized Living Comrade Pillows

"I couldn't have been speeding. . . It's not on my to-do list."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Even the waiters here are organic."

The Environmentalist

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

At the market

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Eco Princess

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"Mulch madness"

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

"Hold on. If we're free range, I don't think we should be crossing a toll road."

'Want a mudpie? It's organic!'

'Ah, Gripes, you want to discuss a raise with me, eh? Come in, sit down, make yourself comfortable!'

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Ethical farm - none of our produce goes to fast food outlets'.

'Does any of your bread just have bread in it?'

Hipster Police Department

Cook and Octopus

"I'm not feeling well. I'm picking up a few things at my pharmacy."

Cage-free eggs.

"This neighborhood has a strong sense of community that borders on siege mentality."

The label on the bottle did say 'natural and organic ingredients', but THIS could not be right.

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

Food Pyramid.

GMOs