Organized Crime Fiction Gifts

'Oh no, the Mafioso Kid is in town!'

'I wish you guys would grow up.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"Puss in cement boots"

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

The Philip Marlow family

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

Snow Crime

'Try to think of this as a learning experience.'

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

Man reading 'How not to get caught.'

Dog detectives

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

'There's my place. Technically it's still a crime scene, but you're more than welcome to traipse through it.'

"Let's just enjoy our holiday. The whole incident with your stalker is over now. We won't see him again."

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'