Orchid Admirer T-Shirts

'Don't be alarmed madam - I'm an Orchidophile!'

"Hey, I got you a beautiful orchid to cheer you up until it turns into just a stick protruding from dirt."

"But it's literally my job to be sensitive and fragile."

You can take the man out of Kew...

"There goes another rare hill orchid."

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

'Actually, a broken arm is not such a big handicap for me...'

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

Watering the garden in the rain.

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

'I know what you're thinking.'

'Fred,you've got to stop burying your head in the sand.'

'The biggest problem in this business is convincing your wife that money doesn't grow on trees.'

Flava Superba

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

'Just too many choices.'

Eye of Newt (evidently the favored hamburger condiment for witches)

'He's half sheepdog and half rottweiler... first he rounds 'em up and then he eats 'em!'

"An accountant? No son of mine is going to be an accountant! You'll be an octopus wrangler like your old man, and like it!"

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

'You're kinky, aren't you, Samuel?'

"Anyone else having trouble drawing hands?"

"I predict an orchid in the shape of a dry but still fruity Sauvignon Blanc."

The Lights

'Wheeee...'

"It's a fantastic character reference..."

"Arachnophunnies"

'I was a tall, handsome prince, and an evil witch downsized me.'

'What luck!'