Orchestra Conductor Gifts

A bow eating 'Rosin Bran'

Orchestral Conductor.

'You mean we've all been playing different songs? I wonder how long that's been going on...'

An orchestra cymbalist is tempted by a fly.

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

There were drastic cutbacks in the orchestra's budget.

Piano concerto for the deaf.

Doggy conductor

It was the bottom of the ninth and the bassists were loaded. O

Double Bass

Rule Britannia!

A Lightning Conductor.

"Don't touch him! He's a conductor."

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

Ha! Musical fruit my patootie...

'And now, Mozart's F-Major Concerto for Bassoon and Default Ring Tone.'

"It's dull now, but at the end they smash their instruments and set fire to the chairs."

Conducting a football referee.

"It's not your phone—they're playing 'Für Elise.'"

The London School of Infectious Diseases Isolation Chamber Orchestra.

Thanks for being such a fabulous desk partner!

Richard Wagner

Conductor: 'Oh for PETE'S SAKE LENNY NOT right now! I'm in the middle of Conducting a Fire Drill!'

A Train Conductor.

Cellist has accidentally poked out the eyes of all his fellow band members.

Theatre.

"It's the new union rule - we have to provide cots for them if they have more than 8 bars rest."

Super-modified grand piano.

"I'd give my right arm to play the violin like you do, Mr. Bolenska."

Leonard Bernstein

Orchestra conductor

'I am too as fit as a fiddle. I'm just big-boned.'

Composer's Trousers Fall Down.

Salad Bowl Drum