Orca Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I've lost my killer instinct...'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

May I have the envelope, please?

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

"Did you know that the average mainstream news portal devotes more space to the oscar in a day than to climate change coverage in the entire year?"

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

"Oh no! - Here comes the National Trust again!!"

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

Fairytale prince and princess

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'Let me get this straight: you'll answer three questions, but only three questions? No kidding? Boy, is this my lucky day or what?'

"It's the battering classes"

Beware of the Dragon

"And to think he started in accounting."

'Is your cap on tight? We don't want any more accidents in the bed, do we?'

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"Ah, Master Turnip, I see you're on a defence contract too!"

"This is the first time you've ever planned a moat, I'm guessing?"

Castle Realty. Of course, for resale value, I'd suggest converting the dungeon into a rec room.

Scratching the door to get out is easy --- it's getting back in that's the problem.

"One of you go see who's at the door."