Oral Health Professional T-Shirts

'My assistant just quit. Said you were looking at her funny.'

"Your mouth is a disaster. Come back when you're ready to take our relationship seriously."

'No, no, Mrs. Fenton! I said you were using improper prophylaxis...not prophylactics!'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'Oddly, few archaeologist comment on the flossing habits of Easter Island inhabitants.'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."

Floss Street Vendor

'Hey buddy, got any bad breath mints?'

"As a dental hygienist, the first thing I noticed was your smile."

Dentist Training School.

Tooth fairy.

"My Mom says that's what happens if you eat too much Halloween candy."

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"And if your teeth could hear you, Larry, what would you say to them?"

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

'I'm going to throw out my old toothbrush and get a new one.'

'That's my husband, Brad. He's a dentist.'

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

"Could you repeat that last joke? I couldn't hear it over all this obnoxious screaming."

'Your tooth still sensitive to hot liquids my dear?'

'I'm sorry, but you're in violation of building codes. You can only use sugar free gum here.'

"My parents are always complaining about my sweet tooth, but do they ever have a nice word to say about my wisdom tooth?"

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'