Oral Health Professional Pillows

'My assistant just quit. Said you were looking at her funny.'

"Your mouth is a disaster. Come back when you're ready to take our relationship seriously."

'No, no, Mrs. Fenton! I said you were using improper prophylaxis...not prophylactics!'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'Oddly, few archaeologist comment on the flossing habits of Easter Island inhabitants.'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

Dentist Training School.

Floss Street Vendor

'Hey buddy, got any bad breath mints?'

"As a dental hygienist, the first thing I noticed was your smile."

Tooth fairy.

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

"My Mom says that's what happens if you eat too much Halloween candy."

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"And if your teeth could hear you, Larry, what would you say to them?"

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

'I'm going to throw out my old toothbrush and get a new one.'

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

'That's my husband, Brad. He's a dentist.'

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

'Your tooth still sensitive to hot liquids my dear?'

Vernon has a Floss with Death

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

'I'm sorry, but you're in violation of building codes. You can only use sugar free gum here.'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

"This must be where the tooth fairy goes to window shop!"

"My parents are always complaining about my sweet tooth, but do they ever have a nice word to say about my wisdom tooth?"