Oracle Of Analytics T-Shirts

Madame Irma: sait tout, voit tout. Lit l'avenir dans le big data.

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

Wikipedia...

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

'As you know, Wilson, our CEO screwed up big time, so he was fired and gets a big bonus. But because of his mistakes, you just get fired.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

Power/Expenditures

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

The Authentic Christmas.

'The only certainties in life are birth, death, taxes, and stock market uncertainty.'

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

'Who vetted that leader?'

Psychic Car Mechanics.

'Let me get this straight: you'll answer three questions, but only three questions? No kidding? Boy, is this my lucky day or what?'

"Heads, we go with the analytics. Tails, we don't."

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

'I never get any credit for all the years we upsized.'

Hipster Police Department

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

I'll put my nose to the grindstone and shoulder to the wheel, which reminds me, how's the health plan?

"The Great Source keeps afloat, along with a little help from the sharks there."

'Looks like the gods are angry.'

"Is that what you're wearing?"

'An expert is one who knows tomorrow why the things he said yesterday didn't happen today.'

"I'm looling for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

"It's unfortunate that we have to cut back on frontline workers, but what else can we do?"

Negative bar is taped onto bar graph in business meeting.

"Why do you want to invest in oil futures?"