Office Oracle T-Shirts

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

"Heads, we go with the analytics. Tails, we don't."

"I think you are meant to delegate"

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

I'll put my nose to the grindstone and shoulder to the wheel, which reminds me, how's the health plan?

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

'Mr. Fenwick leads by example.'

'Slipsbac, lets talk about your future here.'

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Overworked in the office

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

"They don't pull their punches here, do they."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

Wikipedia...

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

ANOTHER FINE MESS, INC.

'We use a modified 'carrot and stick' approach here - We've done away with the carrot.'

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

Busy day at the office.

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

'You're resigning? What great timing! I was going to lay you off friday!'

"It's time for your performance review where I damn you with faint praise."

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

"To save money, 5 employees will share the same computer. I got the idea while I was carpooling."

Rudolph the brown-nosed reindeer.

Psychic Car Mechanics.

'Let me get this straight: you'll answer three questions, but only three questions? No kidding? Boy, is this my lucky day or what?'