Option Overload Survivor Gifts

"If you have a touch tone telephone, please choose from the following 12,847 options. . ."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

'She finally made employee of the month but she paid the ultimate price.'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

Twisted Peel works overtime.

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

Fairy Tales. The piggy bank's been smiling a lot lately. He's the only one who didn't lose his savings in the stock market meltdown.

"And THAT was just the weekend!"

"We're a bit understaffed today, could you be 6 people?"

"There are 168 hours in as week and I work 184."

'Word has it that you have an ulcer, Tomkins. Nice going! You'll find an extra 20 bucks in your paycheck.'

Hour Glass

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

'Whoa! - Too much information!'

Do it yourself -- get someone else to do it -- get son to do it -- pay -- don't bother doing it -- move house

'That's great, Bob, but I was just going to ask if you wanted anything from the deli next door.'

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

Sign reading "Bought High; Sold Low."

'I worked my butt off again.'

"I invested $1000 in Nortel and now my shares are worth 18 cents."

'Would you be interested in adding a few options?'

'I won't be at school anymore, my head is full.'

"...and at work, Doctor, I feel all the paperwork I have to do is taking the joy out of my chosen profession!"

"Shoot. I'm gonna be late to class again."

'If it's any consolation, your portfoilo is now in a far better place.'

"Sure, you lost most of your money investing in this stock, but they did give you a participation trophy."

"...Under pressure?..gain instant relief with Doctor Bengts information overload adjuster...."

"You no longer have any excuses for not getting your work done. I hired someone to take your lunch and bathroom breaks for you."

"First me stock split, then my wife ran away with my broker, then my driverless car drove off without me..."

"It must be his beeper."