Optimistic Commentator Pillows

Doom & Gloom

The Shrinking Dollar.

'Enter His Royal Globalness...'

'Next on 'evening shouting match'...is it a bull or bear market?'

Cold drinks, candy and corporate buyouts.

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

"Old economy, new economy - some things never change."

"Since when did economists become sociologists?!"

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.

Rebuilding the Economy.

This next piece is entitled "Concerto No. 2 in C Minor Blues." Sign the economy's hurting everyone.

Bureau of Inflation.

'I like the jib of their cuts.'

"Brodkin, now that the economy is creating jobs at a faster than expected clip, why don't you go out and find yourself one?"

'There is not a thing that medical science can do for you. Have you tried 'wishful thinking'?'

'Say, wasn't that the bluebird of happiness?'

'I say this is the best we've been given for a long time!'

J. P. Morgan whale harpooned by bank regulators.

'On the contrary-I quite enjoy that Monday morning feeling!'

'Today stocks dropped on news that the only thing to fear is everything.'

Austerity Egg Hunt.

"The filthy rich"

Vote GOP: 'Lowering taxes for the rich creates jobs, in the huge demand for security guards!'

When Governments Bail Out the Sub-Prime Banks.

'Crisis? Which crisis?'

'I've put the business up for sale.'

'And in further economic news, the silver lining in the latest economic crisies has been downgraded to bronze.'

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

'How's business?'

'Carrying that around will kill you in the end.'

Deposits Insured By The U.S. Government (which has a $29 Trillion Debt).

Burn It Down

"Actually, these are more valuable than the golden ones now."

"Recipes for disaster: Book 1, tariffs."