Optical Comic Collector T-Shirts

'If the subject should ever come up, you can say you're legally blind'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

The Fourth Little Pig

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

Welcome Spring.

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"You've changed."

Bears catching fish

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Super Dog'

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'What clan do you belong to?'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.