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Batman at the Maternity Ward

No Action Comics

It used to be all about truth and justice. Now, mostly I fight for market share.

"It's very nice, Sir... But is it consistent with the voice of our brand?"

'He dresses a little odd, but he's a super lawyer.'

'It's a bird, it's a plane...it's superman! Oh brother, a bird and a plane aren't even close to the same size...I really need some new glasses.'

"Good. Now take the reward money and invest it. Something long-term, like,15 to 20 years."

Reindeer using maple syrup bucket as a toilet.

Group discount therapy.

Tortoise and hair.

"The cape comes off too."

"It's an audio alternative called reading."

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

'How do you expect me to concentrate when you're reading me my rights?'

'Be careful opening this...it's marked dangerous goods.'

How to get Ahead.

'If you must know, I'm applying to become a hamster!'

'Wait a moment...I said a pair of dogs...not a pair of chihuahuas, a pair of poodles, a pair of beagles, a pair of...'

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

'Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Captain Compensation!'

The Almost Exciting Adventures of Superfluousman.

'I have to let you guys go. I can get the toys made cheaper in China.'

"And I being of sound find authorise that my entire stock of kryptonite be distributed amongst the citizens of Planet Zug.."

"I'm not sure we still carry the Wonderbra."

Batman getting the subway

Rejected Spider-man lunchbox ideas

"Greetings! We come in peace and seek only a meaningful relationship."

'And what misguided soul gave you the idea that a lot of crime was occurring underwater in the first place?'

"I feel so inadequate! What do I know about saving the world?"

'Everyone else's inferiority complex is better than mine.'

Captain No-No

"She's always trying to change me."

'I'll be yours if you restore England to its former glory.'

"It's a cape, it's red, and I'm in a hurry."

For sale sign in prison yard