Oprah Fan Pillows

'The Supreme Court today upheld a lower court ruling, only to have it overturned by Oprah!'

"I'd rather that Oprah was president of GM! You get a car! You get a car! You get a car!"

"It went blank, then I missed Oprah, figure out the rest!"

Oh oh, Oprah interrupted Phil for a special bulletin!

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

Sock Puppet in Literature

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Spam in Hell.

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

Two wheels good, four wheels bad.

How they did it . . .

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

'At a guess I'd say it's one of the lesser Pharoahs.'

Lawyers On A Plane.

"When you order your dictator from Temu"

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

OOPS!

"One day son, all this will be going with me."

Bird flu parody of Monty Python's 'Dead parrot sketch'.

"And that makes 6! That should be enough to cater for the function tonight. . ."

The Sedentary Dead.