Oprah Fan Gifts

'The Supreme Court today upheld a lower court ruling, only to have it overturned by Oprah!'

"I'd rather that Oprah was president of GM! You get a car! You get a car! You get a car!"

'Has Oprah ever been married?'

"It went blank, then I missed Oprah, figure out the rest!"

Oh oh, Oprah interrupted Phil for a special bulletin!

Oprah Winfrey

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

Sock Puppet in Literature

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Spam in Hell.

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

Two wheels good, four wheels bad.

How they did it . . .

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

The Second Fall of Man.r

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Then it's agreed -- we'll prepare a pamphlet showing how the public could save money with our company and then get it on Ophrah's book list ... '

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'At a guess I'd say it's one of the lesser Pharoahs.'

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

"I don't have any opinions, and my wife things whatever Oprah thinks,."

"I know I say it in every episode, Carson, but the world is changing and we have to change with it."

Lawyers On A Plane.

"When you order your dictator from Temu"

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

OOPS!

"One day son, all this will be going with me."